Sounds so easy "just pray". When things are going great, when you want to kill someone, when you're having a blah day, when one of your dreams come true, when you feel blah, etc. But when done correctly it really works. Being in that constant communication with God, I've found, has made me a much better person. He becomes this intrical part of your life...like a best friend that you can call on day or night, who will never judge you, someone that already knows your deepest secrets and silly thoughts...so there's no point in keeping anything from Him because he already knows! You can just be yourself. Most importantly I've realized that He is the only entity in your life that loves perfectly. Nobody..not your husband, parents, family members, friends, dogs...can love you perfectly like God does. That was a powerful realization for me. For a long time I think I expected certain people, especially my husband and some would say their parents, to love me perfectly. The bottom line is they are not perfect and they will make mistakes or get off their path and that's ok...I make mistakes and get off my path or have bad days...we are all here to help each other on our pilgrimage through life and take comfort that there is one that loves us perfectly and that is God. I feel like knowing that has made me much more patient, kind, gentle, and most importantly humble and forgiving as a human being in the way I treat others, especially those nearest and dearest. This is why it's so important to pray...to keep in communication with the one that loves us perfectly, to our best friend that gives us grace when we need it and always loves us. I love to say prayers of gratitude throughout the day...especially when things are NOT going my way. It really puts life in perspective at a moment when I'm weak. If I have a baby shower to go to or someone announces they are pregnant that I'm not too close too, I pray for God to give me the grace to get through those moments and to place me back into a positive, hopeful place...I gotta get back on track because I can easily sink myself into a "why them and not me...all I yearn for is to have my children..what is my purpose in life if not to have kids..." And that can go on and on. I don't want to be there...it doesn't serve me. I want to be in a place of trust, hope, and peace. The bottom line is I want to be happy for others...I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. But the hurt that it hasn't happen for us is still there and the only thing I've found that truly gives me peace to just to stop and pray. God will give me what I NEED not WANT to get though those moment. I'm a much happier person now and it shows when I forget to pray and start to drift I start to feel more and more negative emotions.
I've also struggled over the years with keeping God at the center of my marriage. The intention has always been there but I hadn't figured it out really and truly until recently. It goes along with what I was saying in the previous paragraph. In my mind now I make an intimate part of my life by thinking of Him as a best friend. It works the same in a marriage..He is literally another person in our marriage. He is the core of marriage now and unites us. We not only make decisions about our lives between the two of us but now we actually will ask God through prayer...any choice we have to make we run it by God first and ask Him to let us know in our hearts what we should do. If one of us is being out of line with the other we tell them to basically take a time out and talk to God who is the other person in our marriage and ask Him for His opinion. We pray before or after we are intimate, when we have a hard day at work we pray before we talk to the other person. God is not just a prayer before bed...now He is literally becoming part of our marriage. Maybe it sounds cray cray but it has brought our marriage to a whole new level of peace and happiness that we never knew existed.
So bottom line here...just pray.
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